My Jams posts always contain a whole lot of Black U.S. Southern Vernacular, coarse language, sexual references and adult situations. Oh, and they are always long as hell so if you don’t feel like reading you might wanna press on! But you’ll miss some fun if you do! Read at your own risk!
Today, I get my chance to show what I can do! Can you believe it? I’m a varsity cheerleader at the biggest school in the city and we are about to perform for the first pep rally of the school year. By the way, this is also my very first performance on the varsity squad. No more cheering from the sidelines like I had to do when I was junior varsity.
Right now, I am standing in line beside the bleachers waiting for the band to cue us to run to the center of the gym and cheer to our school fight song.
While I wait for the cue, I can’t help noticing how funny acting people can be. Some folks don’t speak to me anymore. But I also got folks walking up and speaking to me that NEVER spoke to me before; now, all of a sudden, they want to be my friend.
Honestly, I really want to say to the ones who stopped speaking, “You ain’t gotta speak cause you mad!” And to the ones that never spoke to me before—but are speaking to me now, I want to say, “Don’t speak to me now if you didn’t have time to speak to me before.”
But I don’t say any of that, I just politely smile and keep moving.
Anyway, I feel so nervous and excited! I can’t wait for my chance to finally move from the sidelines to center stage. Oh yeah, we’re gonna perform “Turn it on”–which the crowd loves! We’re also gonna hit them with a new one today. You see, we’re gonna do a cheer with a collapsing mount called “Dynamite.”
You just wait until they see that!
Sorry for switching subjects but I wonder if my Grandma is watching me from Heaven? I really hope so because she once made a cheerleading outfit for me when I was a little girl. She was probably thinking that I’d be a good cheerleader since I always had such a big mouth! You probably remember that she died in March just one year after my Uncle Willie passed.
Hmmm….I wonder what she would think if she could see me now? I just miss her so much!
Uh oh! The band’s brass section just started playing the opening notes to the fight song!
That’s my cue!
I’ll see y’all later—-I gotta GO!
This one is for you Grandma! I love you!
Rest in Peace.
“On on ARC! We are right for the fight you see! Hold that ball and hit that line. Every Musketeer will shine…”
🙂 🙂 🙂
You go ‘head on Lil Lady G! You had a vision and you made it happen! Chile, can’t nobody stop you if you’re prepared and you’re willing to dream!
Oh but you know I gotta go back and address some shit before I get to these jams.
First off, it is never cute to treat people according to their ‘status.’ Check this out, if you don’t f*ck with somebody when they’re down—don’t EVEN try to start f*cking with them when they come up! People can see through that! Just dammit stop it! And yes, I meant to say it just like that! Just dammit stop it!
Which brings me to my second, and most curious point. Don’t hate!
Ok, let me supplement this by informing you that Lady G subscribes to rapper Trick Daddy’s philosophy on haters. And what is that pray tell? Well in an interview, someone once asked Trick Daddy to define a hater. Allow me to paraphrase Mr. Daddy’s response:
Look at it like this, if I drive up to the club in the baddest ride and I walk in dressed to the nines with two bad chicks on each arm and you don’t say nothing–You are a hater! I mean, how could you NOT notice that?
YAAASSSSS! By that definition, there are PLENTY of haters out there!
Oh no….Please don’t do that!
Ain’t nobody saying that you need to fawn all over a person, but if given the chance, give some kind of positive acknowledgement when you see somebody on the come up. Stop being a gotdamn crab!
Now that we got that out of the way!
How you doin’ in the year 1984? Chile, my friend Roger from the UK, reminded me to read 1984 -the book. Baby, George Orwell was trying to sprinkle you cats with a little knowledge. Ya girl has been an Orwell fan since she read Animal Farm.
Bump what you heard, Lady G is quite well read!
Ok are you ready to get into these jams?
My Jams ‘84
Careless Whisper by Wham
Ok so y’all need to stop talking so damn much! Just kidding. Honey George’nem brought us this gem from the UK! Mama used to love “Everything she wants.”
“I’m never gonna dance again, guilty feet have got no rhythm.”
Cheating is bad but payback is a real bitch!
When Doves Cry by Prince
Yessir, Prince decided to switch that thang up a little bit and sing in his lower register. That joker had a helluva range-you hear me?
“Dig if you will the picture of you and I engaged in a kiss…”
Oh hell yeah!
The Glamorous Life by Sheila E
Yaasss baby them Latina Chicas know how to get off! Honey that Queen Diva tore them drums up then she kicked the damn cymbals—-Now what!!!
“She wants to lead the glamorous life…without love it ain’t much!”
A sista came to slay!
Sugar Walls by Sheena Easton
Baby Prince done turned that white girl out! She used to talk about her baby taking the morning train. Now she talking about sugar walls! But what does that mean?
“Come spend the night inside my sugar walls”
OK, I see!
Farewell My Summer Love by Michael Jackson–Re-released
Y’all somebody went back and dug up one of Mike’s old jams and either re-released or released it for the first time.
I loved it because that year I had a little summer love with a dude down in ‘Bama.
Ask cousins Liz and Jennifer; they know who it was!
If Only You Knew by Patti LaBelle
Now, this is how a ballad is supposed to be sung. Honey, Queen Diva Patti set this shit right here on FIRE!
“I said you don’t know how much I need you…”
DEAD to DEATH!
You Me and He by Mtume
Aw shit, here we go with another one of them damn triangulations!
Folks need to stop that nonsense. Lady G don’t know nothing about that kinda stuff 😉
What is we gon’ do?
“I don’t wanna let you go, no, no, no, no!”
I wanna know what love is by Foreigner
Ok so when I saw the video for this one I was CONVINCED!
I loved this jam! But who doesn’t?
Tears by The Force MD’s
What? Ain’t these some rappers? Don’t rapper supposed to rap?
Whaaaa? They can sing!
I just be damned!
“Tears, tears, another heart knows my pain.”
Mr. Groove by One Way
Chile this one makes me think about my cousins Bruce and Rasul (Squirt) walking around Dale Road with a boom box! Them two jokers were NOT to be fucked with. Bruce wore a chain–bitch I don’t mean gold chain–I mean a real chain! Mess with him if you want to.
Squirt came from Chicago and his daddy, Bobby, was so bad he could walk in any gang territory and get much respeckkkk! Even the gangstas didn’t f*ck with Uncle Bobby!
Now what does that tell you?
Shackles by RJ’s Latest Arrival
“Shackles on my feet”
Off and on Love by Champaign
Baby, I guanran-damn-tee you forgot this jam! If you didn’t you NEED to holler at me in comments. I love the scatting at the end–kinda made me think about Scotti and Walter’nem from the Whispers.
Love need and want you by Patti LaBelle
Aw shit now!!!!!
That Queen Diva DID that with this jam!
“And I just want you to know….how I feeeeel…how I feeeeel…oh I…”
My son and I have a running joke about that line related to Big Boi’s sample of it a few years back.
“I love and need and want you baby!” Repeat ad infinitum!
Hard Times by Run DMC
Baby, that beat was banging!
“Hard times spreadin’ just like the flu, watch out homeboy, don’t let it get you….”
Y’all don’t know nothin’ ‘bout that!
Hey DJ by The World’s Famous Supreme Team
“Hey DJ just play that song, keep me dancin’ all night..”
Baby, all the DJ’s was digging on this jam. Back then, if you were new and you really wanted to get your stuff played, all you needed to do was mention the DJ.
Hell it still works these days, ask that pretty little island girl Ree Ree.
Note: Lady G cannot be bothered to google the proper spelling of her actual name—Again, I’ll let you do that.
Sex Shooter by Apollonia 6
Oh hell yeah! This was the jam. But, oh hell naw, she couldn’t sing!
“Sex shooter, shooting love in your direction.”
These chicks were eye candy for the fellas! Prince wasn’t no dummy.
Honey when Vanity left, Prince went right out and got him another one just like her!
Don’t get shit twisted, you can always be replaced!
Don’t f*ck with The Purple One. Period! And the Dot.
C.O.D (I’ll deliver) by Mtume
“I deliver, C.O.D.”
Please don’t ever try to question the credentials of James Mtume! He is the truth! You can believe that!
“Just call my name, in a hurry, it’s not the same without you…”
I simply CANNOT!
Take a chance by Nuance
Picture it, Sicily….No I’m just bullshitting you 🙂
Picture it, 1984, A high school football game in the South with two bands, Laney and Josey, competing to see who gon’ blow who out to this jam! Competition is hot!
But Laney won that one!
Don’t worry Josey, you will live to fight, and win, another day 😉
Weekend Girl by S.O.S Band
I can imagine my girl Chevvy telling some begging dude back in 1984, “I’m a weekend girl, and I don’t have time on the weekdays!”
You better tell him girl!
We need some money by Chuck Brown
Chuck was on that real, real, real….Reaganomics and that trickle down theory was some bullshit–money was tight as hell in 1984!
But the party went on!
Come on T. and G. Let’s get up on this go-go!
“Master card, Visa, American Express, I ain’t got nothing ‘gainst no credit cards but the cash is the best!”
Yessir, Mr. Brown was the originator! You better ask somebody from the DMV! I told y’all before that Lady G got mad love for my folks in the D.C., Maryland, VA area!
Chic cheer by Chic (1984 remix)
Yeah you know this one! Nile on that guitar with Bernard echoing him on bass!
No Parking On The Dance Floor by Midnight Star-1983-but I had to say something in 1984
Baby Midnight Star made Lady G sweat all her damn perm out dancing!
Boy when I got off the dance floor my eyeliner and mascara had done run all down my face.
A bitch was looking like a gotdamn fool!
But that’s okay! I had a good ass time!
“Moving violations are easy to fix just tell the DJ to fix it in the mix!”
You Turn Me On by Rick James
Yaaasss! Rick doing what he does best on this jam!’
Runaway Love by Linda Clifford (Correction- released in 1978 but we gonna jam it in ’84 ’cause that’s when it came to me)
Ladies, when you’ve had enough and it is time for that joker to go, put this jam on and tell his ass to kick rocks!
Honey, the music here is tight but please do not skip out on Queen Diva Linda’s monologue about that low down ass joker right there!
But before she goes into that, I love to hear her sing:
So stop messin’ with my heart
If you don’t mean it
And stop messin’ with my love
If you don’t care
Don’t come in here
Talking bout love
And you know
You’re using me baby
Cause I ain’t got no
Heartaches to spare
Secret fantasy by Tom Browne Ft. Siedah Garrett
In this one Siedah, at the beginning of the song, seems to be saying “Talk to me quick!” but I got no idea if that’s right.
Either way, that was my dear Oscar’s favorite part.
Ok, so let me explain the whole Oscar thing. You see, my cousin Jen-Jen and I used to make homemade tapes together. For some reason we started referring to all of our tapes as “Sid and Oscar Productions.
[Legal machinations will not allow me to reveal which one of us was Sid and which one of us was Oscar. Please don’t try referring back to my previous sentences because y’all already know I love to refer to myself in the 1st, 2nd and 3rd person–YAAASSSS!]
Back to business…
First of all, Siedah was the business. She wrote or co-wrote MJ’s “Man in the Mirror.” So you know she made some serious coinage. But, aside from that, she could blow! She was often asked to sing back-up/session for more well known acts.
I’m not sure why she never went much further than that–maybe she opted not to. One thing is for sure, it damn shole wasn’t because of her voice or her looks. That Queen Diva was gorgeous and, as I said, she could sing! I just can’t call it!
As for this jam, baby it’s a killer! Honey, if you were to put this one on at a dance in 1984-85, the fellas would be trying to ask you to slow dance. Chile the ladies would quickly respond, “Naw, this is fast enough for us to dance separately.”
I advise you to go check it out if you don’t remember it.
When I hear music by Debbie Deb
This jam right here and “Take a chance” can always take me right back to the 1980’s
Hanging downtown by Cameo
Chile Larry Blackmon got back on my good side with this monster. Here, he is giving me chill, he is giving me vibe, he is giving me ever-y-thing I need on this jam.
“I’ll be hanging downtown, kind of waiting, maybe I’ll try meditating….Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah…”
Chile that joker even gave me some brass action.
Peep the sax! Oh yes!
Larry, you alright with me!
Make me a Believer by Luther Vandross
Nope, I simply CANNOT
You just can’t f*ck with this shit right here!
Feel the need by Anita Baker
Now y’all know I wasn’t gonna leave 1984 without giving you some nasty bass!
Well here it is…from Queen Diva Anita and Lady G to YOU!
Out on a limb by Teena Marie
Sid and Oscar Productions
Dear Lover by Teena Marie
Sid and Oscar Productions
Again, I say, YAAAAASSSSSSS!
Y’all already know how I feel about Lady T !!!
Here I usually list songs that Mama liked but I guess by now you know that Ms Girl had done jumped ship and started going back in time listening to her old jams! That said, I’ll just list some more ‘84 jams along with hip hop party jams.
More ‘84 Jams
Like a Virgin by Madonna
I feel for you by Chaka Khan
Somebody’s watching me by Rockwell: Yaaassss MJ is rocking that chorus!
Out of touch by Hall & Oates
Breaking /No stopping us Ollie and Jerry: Yaaasss Ozone! Turbo!
Method of Modern Love by Hall & Oates
Solid by Ashford and Simpson
Miss me blind by Culture Club
Somebody else’s guy by Jocelyn Brown
Centipede by Rebbie Jackson
Change of heart by Change
She’s Strange by Cameo
Encore by Cheryl Lynn
Feel so real by Patrice Rushen
Jam On It by Newcleus
Lovelite by O’Bryan
Body Talk by The Deele
Show me by Glenn Jones
Baby don’t break your baby’s heart by Kashif
Perfect combination by Stacy Lattisaw and Johnny Gill
Plane Love by Jeffrey Osborne
Joy Stick by Dazz Band
It’s a miracle by Culture Club
More more more by Atlantic Starr
Fo fi Fo Pieces of a Dream
Love me in a special way by DeBarge
Swoop I’m Yours The Dazz Band
No One’s Gonna Love You SOS Band
Pretty Mess by Vanity
Lollipop Love by Bryan Loren
30 Days by Run DMC
What people do for money Divine sounds
Tenderoni by Leon Haywood
Prime time by Mtume
Just my luck by The Deele
Fragile by Cherrelle
I wanted your love by Luther Vandross
Intimate Connection by Kleeer
Don’t stop by One way
Hip Hop Party Jams
Computer age push the button by Newcleus: YAAAASSS, this one is for Rodricka “The Freak!” Class of 1988
Fix-It in the mix by Pretty Tony
Egypt, Egypt by Egyptian Love
Well, it’s a wrap! I love you 1984, but it’s time to leave you in the midst of years gone by!
Y’all join me for the afterparty in comments! It goes on for days! It can’t stop, cause it won’t stop! Let’s share memories of ’84! Don’t forget to tell me your likes and dislikes from my list. Were there any surprises on my list? Tell me about the ones that I didn’t list. Remember my list is not in any order nor is it exhaustive 🙂
Let’s get it!