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  1. Pingback: Against Visual Bias & No-Touch Culture (2 of 2) – Zone of Non-being

  2. Smooth pic! You are right – love is the only way home. There is tremendous wisdom to the fact that we come into this world attached to another human being. But as we grow older, we pretend that we do not have connections to other people, and we deny our emotions. I think a lot of people would become sobered if they just looked down at their belly buttons every once in a while. I think all of our endeavors in life are, in a roundabout way, an attempt to regain the love we felt as children. Whether it is with our partners, our friends, by gaining status through school or a job – at bottom, all we want is love and recognition. Whenever I see someone with a fancy new car, I kind of feel sorry for them – because they are using material goods in a way to attract recognition from others.

    I also think that we have gotten into the bad habit of elevating the sense of sight above the sense of touch. Scientists now perpetuate the lie that vision is the most important sense. Its not. Vision is the easiest sense to fool … through vision we perceive distance and separation. But through touch, we sense warmth and connection – all of which is key to our development in the womb. Babies are often born cross-eyed and cannot really “see” good for several months. But since we live in a world where separation is the name of the game, we elevate vision above touch. I often want to hug people, but they are so weird about it because they have physical barriers that I do not it. We have a population full of people who are starving for hugs. It is time we bring TOUCH back – and start hugging people more and holding hands more!

    Thanks for the great image Lady G!

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    1. Wow Darryl!
      Now that is really what I am talking about!
      YOU NAILED IT!!!
      Just so you know, my blog was created to offer a ‘cyber hug’ to all of my readers simply because I realize that we all crave human connection and most of us are missing that.
      I only wish I could physically hug all of my followers.
      And so..
      As you said, the sense of external vision is easy to fool. In the song “Grapevine,” Marvin Gaye used that old Southern saying, “Believe half of what you see and none of what you hear..”
      External vision is flawed but inner vision is where it’s at!
      I love the way you think!!!!

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      1. Wow, I dig that. I will take all the hugs I can get, cyber or in-person. The isolation we deal with on an everyday basis is so traumatizing. I go to the supermarket and they have the self-checkout machines. In part, people like them because they think it is faster. But I also think they just want to avoid human connection. They don’t want to look the cashier in the eyes, have a brief discussion with them, and graze their fingers as they hand you the receipt. I look forward to that stuff!

        I dig that Marvin line! We need to trust our intuitions more, and stop being such divisive societal norms.

        I stopped taking the train home from school because people would put their bag on the seat next to them so others couldn’t sit near them … I mean, heaven forbid they touch elbows with a stranger! And when you asked them to move, they did it reluctantly and put their headphones in to avoid discussion. Sigh.

        A feminist named Shere Hiite said “half of all psychiatrists’ offices would close down if we touched more”. That’s real!

        I might have to parlay some of these thoughts into a separate blog, you got me all gassed up, lol – with of course, a link to your blog! Thanks for the inspiration!

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        1. Therapeutic touch is one of the brand new hotnesses in Integrative/Complementary Medicine. I say new, but not really. Black folks have always seen touch as a spiritual thing. You may have heard of ‘laying on of hands.’ There really is something to that. We brought all of that with us from Africa and discarded it as we assimilated into the larger culture.
          I love studying all of that stuff. I think I read that you have a Master’s degree so are you working on your Ph.D?
          I have a BS in Political Science and a M. Ed. in Health Education. I took a lot of Sociology courses. I especially loved Women’s studies so I am very interested in power of the feminine. I know that you will not misunderstand me here, I am just saying that as women- and in many cases as mothers, we are going to have to take a larger role in moving our society back toward one to one connection.
          Shere Hiite is absolutely right and we all know that intuitively.
          I have to tell you, I’ve really enjoyed this chat! Very positive! Very encouraging and very truthful!

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        2. I absolutely agree! You are right – we have always known the power of touch, but we have been forced to put it by the waist-side due to our oppression.

          Yes, I have my Master of Arts in Sociology – and I am thinking about getting my Ph.D somewhere down the line. I have been in school a long time, so I feel I need to work, and pinpoint what I want to do in-depth research on. And I am slightly apprehensive about the way colleges are eliminating tenure-track positions, etc – so, there is a lot to take into account. But that is definitely a dream of mine! I just want to teach!

          Nice going with the BS in Political Science and the M. Ed in Health Education! I always liked political science! The one lesson I learned: government makes much more sense once you realize it doesn’t make sense! LOL

          I agree with you about the power of the feminine. Masculinity is based on justice and strength – it is all about “rights” and who has the “might” (war). As babies, boys are loving beings – but they are taught to become mean-spirited as men. A true revolution has to be centered on women and be in the name of love and care. For some reason, “feminism” has become a dirty word. But men need to study feminism so that they can get back in touch with their human connections!

          One of the many things I love about my mother is that she is very touchy-feely. The first time she meets someone, if she likes them, she hugs them. This may throw some people off, but I think it is somewhat weird to not embrace people you have a connection with.

          I have enjoyed this discussion as well. This gives me hope for the future! Glad to know there are others who have faith in humankind!

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    1. Hey Susan!
      Thank you love!
      This has been a beautiful Sunday and I can imagine you sipping on your chile cocoa lattΓ©. Delicious!
      So glad you’re doing it in my honor!
      I am verklempt!
      Soooo how about Lady J made me go get her a freaking pumpkin spice lattΓ© from Starbucks.
      I think she was a rich older white lady in a former life LOL!!!

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