Lady J’s Godfather died the other day.
Unfortunately, I was responsible for breaking the news.
After telling her what had happened, I wiped my eyes and braced myself for an impending breakdown–I just knew that my dear daughter was going to fall over into a puddle of tears.
I put my arm around her…
Ready to catch her fall.
And I waited…
And I waited…
And I waited.
But there was nothing.
No response.
Just silence.
Now, in an effort to be proactive, I decided that I should help her to get in touch with her feelings.
In my mind, she needed to process the seriousness of what had occurred.
So, I assured her that it was okay if she felt like crying.
Again, nothing.
Not wanting to force the issue, I simply decided to drop the subject and keep a close eye on her.
But, to my surprise, Lady J never said another word about the matter.
In fact, she proceeded as if nothing had happened.
I kept thinking to myself that this was strange.
Lady J was very close to her Godfather.
This just didn’t seem to make any sense.
So, again, I broached the subject and asked, “How do you feel?”
“What do you think?”
To which she responded, “I’ve decided NOT to think about it.”
So I let it be.
Well, a couple of days before the funeral, Lady J’s Godmother requested that we come to her home in order to take pictures with the family.
So we went.
Naturally, after arriving, we greeted children, grandchildren, brothers, sisters and friends—Each one engaged in play, pleasantries and recollections of warm memories.
People were talking and becoming more acquainted.
Several conversations were occuring at once.
And all seemed well.
But there, on the sofa, apart from the chatter, sat Lady J, silently holding her Godmother’s hand…
NOT thinking about it.
Rest in Peace KRB (aka Godfather)
We love you and we will miss you always!
This is touching, Lady G. Sorry for your family’s loss.❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙏🏾Thank you so much Eartha🙏🏾
LikeLiked by 1 person
Children are so resilient. Lady J demonstrates a level of maturity beyond her years
LikeLiked by 1 person
Aww thanks handsome💋💋💋
LikeLike
Actions do indeed speak louder than words.
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙏🏾 They really do! Thanks for stopping by 🙂
LikeLike
My heart reaches out at this sad time. Warm hugs. I love your way with the world, the everyday, events ongoing, bits of life, and the ordinary brought to us as extraordinary. You touch reality with soft steel, and your Lady J is so similar … hmmmm … I wonder where she gets that? *eyeballs looking directly at YOU* ❤️ Despite the need for her to someday talk of her loss in her own timing, it does not go unnoticed her compassion (and this with the sweet touch of hands) probably flowed more strongly toward her Godmother’s grief rather than her own levels of devastation. It was a spirit-sharing happening on the sofa … flowing both ways. Lady J is special indeed. 🌹
LikeLiked by 1 person
Jesus take the wheel!
When I tell you that I am verklempt! I mean it!
My dear wise owl, I couldn’t help reading these sweet and sage words of yours. You are so generous and so kind. You’ll never know how much I appreciate it whenever you stop by. Both Lady J and I send you love, light and peace….always.
LikeLike
I must turn myself over to the great “Wheel Taker” more often. Your first words this morning opened me in a delicious way. Thank you and Lady J for your sweet sendings and they are returned in kind … threefold. 🌹🌹🌹
LikeLiked by 1 person
“The great wheel taker!!!” 😂
I
am
DEAD…
with laughter! You really do make my day when you flutter by 🙂 A treasure, you are!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sending hugs and love you way Sweet family ❤ death can be so hard but to remember the good times and the words spoken, carry it with you and cherish the life that was so very kind and wonderful ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hugs and much love back to you Kim 🙂 We will carry all the best of Godfather forward with us always 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Beautiful…what a lady. Children remind us what lies within our hearts under and after all the other stuff.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Awww!! Thanks my sweet. You are so right. Children can be some of our best teachers 🙂 💖 💋. Love you Sis!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love you big!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sending condolences my dear. It’ll hit her one day. You know processing death is different for us all.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you love. And you are right, I am very sure that it will hit her at some point.
Like you said, everybody is different. I am a huge cry-baby when it comes to things like this. But, hell, I cry when I’m happy too! LOL!! But those are tears of joy and gratitude.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yeah. I understand. I was going to say it reminds me of when my mother died when I was 16. I wanted to BAWL uncontrollably, but my grandmother was like, “Don’t cry. Don’t be sad.” For a very long time I resented it until I learned that it had more to do with her own ways of dealing with life/death than it was about controlling my emotions. Hope this makes sense and lol about you crying when you’re happy 😉
LikeLiked by 2 people
Wow!
Funny you should mention the whole “Don’t cry, don’t be sad”/resentment scenario because that is exactly why I always encourage my children to feel their feelings–cry if you wanna cry; laugh if you wanna laugh; be mad if you wanna be mad. So many illnesses, physical/mental and emotional stem from unexpressed emotions.
I say, get it out!!! But, in this case, it appears that it will happen when Lady J is ready.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Reblogged this on Crazy Pasta Child.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much for the reblog 🙂
LikeLike
Ttime for a little girl. But you are there for her, ready for her way of dealing with each phase of her coping.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you my friend 🙂 And yes, I will be here for her when the time comes to process her feelings.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My thoughts are very much with you and Lady J, Gwin at this sad time. I was formulating my thoughts for something compassionate to say when I read Ellie P’s comment which was exactly what I was going to say. Also it brought back memories of when I was around 11 years old and was told that a very close relative had died. There was absolutely no external reaction from me – I was silent. But you can be sure it hit me hard. I guess at the time I had not the capacity to display my grief that was comfortable for me. Maybe Lady J, by not thinking about it is trying to find a way to deal with the pain of loss. Big hugs to you both. xx
LikeLiked by 3 people
I sooo appreciate you sharing your experience Marie. Lady J is also 11 years old, so your story gave me a bit of insight into what may be happening in her inner world.
Big, big, big hugs right back to you my dear friend 🌹 Your warm words are a healing balm 😔
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh sweetheart you are most welcome! Fancy that Lady J is 11 years old?! Synchronicity at work here – I wonder? I’m so happy that my words have helped in a small way. 🌹
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love it when synchronicity happens. It lets me know that I’m on the right path-and since it involves you, I’d say that you are too! And yes, your words helped in a big way 🙂 🙏🏾
LikeLiked by 1 person
Not to carry on this too long, but I was knocked out when you said Lady J is 11. When I saw your post, I read it and went away and thought about it for a while before responding. It’s such coincidence that I should have brought to mind the picture of me at 11 being told by my mom that Mrs G (a dear family friend) had passed. It is so clear to me even now sooooo many years later. Who knew that I would use it as an example of compassion in years to come ….🌹🌹
LikeLiked by 3 people
Ah…but it makes perfect sense. Doesn’t it mystic Marie. LOL!!!!
No, seriously, I find that quite uncanny too. And it is a gift to us that you were able to turn your experience into such a valuable lesson.
You are so appreciated 💞
LikeLiked by 1 person
Laughter is so important even at sad times …Mystic Marie – love it!!! And you are such a blessing to me too …:)
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is! And you are the same for me, my love 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Awww, so sad. I’m so sorry for your loss. Hugs to you and Lady J. ❤❤❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you dear Paula! We send you lots of hugs right back 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
So so sorry for your family’s loss, G!
As u probably know, kids process their grief in different ways from adults – and in fact every one of us handles it differently regardless of our age. I can see how you were surprised though, given that she was very close with him. Sigh… It may hit her more later, and she may let it all out then…of course you’ll have your shoulder ready…
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thank you for those kind words Ellie. You’re absolutely right, we all process things different. And yes, I will be ready when, and if it hits her—I am sure it will at some point later on.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter’s godfather. I will keep her and his family in my prayers.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Henrietta. We appreciate your prayers 🙂
LikeLike
You are welcome!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Breaking such bad news is not easy.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It really isn’t 😦 Thanks for dropping by 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person