My Jams ’85

Gwin and Camaro

 

Please note that this blog subscribes to the Tracy-Gwin Doctrine regarding song years.  For more information, contact Lady G 😉

Warning:  “My Jams” posts almost always include adult language and situations.

Girl you need to slow that damn car down–out there driving like Leadfoot!  I can hear the motor racing all the way from Wycliffe.  I know one thing, a hard head make a soft behind.  You better listen to what I tell you now.

I am about to go for another ride but Mama steady fussing about my driving. To tell you the truth, I been tuned her out.

Naw, for real, I’m thinking about this new haircut I’m sporting; my sides are shaved low and slicked down.  Actually, it looks like I got a curly mohawk.  Oh and I got on my cut- off shirt and some really short shorts.  All I need now is my shades.

I can’t wait to get outta here because me and my girls gon’ ride all over Augusta and mess some dudes up!  You can look but you can’t touch!

Shoot, it’s too bad this ain’t no IROC Z28 with T-tops.  But that’s alright it’s still a pretty fly Camaro.

Oh, by the way, did you know that I can drive a stick?  Well I can because that’s the first thing my Daddy taught me how to drive.  He said he wanted me to learn how to drive a 4-speed so that I would never be stuck.  Daddy says I need to be able to drive any car in the yard. So he showed me how to shift gears in his Datsun 260Z.

You know they say that the 240Z and the 260Z are faster than them 280Zs that are out now.  I guess they had to slow ‘em down for some reason.

Get this, Mama can’t drive a stick; and she don’t really care either.  Not me, I don’t wanna be like that. I’ll drive you if you had a stirring wheel 🙂

Anyway, as I’m walking to the car, Mama is right behind me; still fussing.  I open the car door, get inside and crank it up.  Mama frowns and covers her ears because the radio is already blasting from my last cruising episode.  She starts saying something but I can’t hear her so I turn the music down and say, “What did you say Mama?

She said, “I said to turn that damn shit down—I know you heard me!”  

I turn the music down a little as I back out of the driveway with Cash Flow’s ‘Party Freak’ bumping in the background.  As soon as I am out of the driveway and onto the main road, I put it in ‘Drive’ and FLOOR it!  Then I BLAST my favorite part of the song:

“And when she smiles, she MESmeRIZES  meeeeee..and when she moves, I gotta dance..she’s wild, she’s sweet, she’s a sure ‘nuff super freeeeak, the girl is everything to me!”

I better play now because something tells me I’m gonna pay later!

Bye Ms. Eva!!!!!!

And, just like that, Young Lady G was Audi 5000!

🙂 🙂 🙂

What’s up y’all? I guess by now you know that young Lady G wasn’t thinking ‘bout no Eva! What did she know?  She didn’t even know how to drive a stick.

You couldn’t tell your girl nothing!  I had it ALL figured out 😉

But… as the old folks used to sing in church:

It’s gonna rain

It’s gonna rain

You better get ready and bear this in mind

God showed Noah, the rainbow sign

He said it won’t be water but fire next time.

Baby, in the words of my Grandma Annie, “Umph…you got it all to see.”

And she was right!

Anyway, how are you folks doing in 1985?  I hope that all is going well!  Honey, when I was picking these jams I decided to keep it simple because I had to maneuver through all them freaking synthesizers and looped automated handclaps.

To be honest, that shit got on my damn nerves.  I guess my thirty-seventeen year old ears can’t take the same stuff that my sixteen year old ears liked.

Trust me when I tell you that there was a whole lot of noise going on in 1985.  But then there were also some really good jams.  By the way, I did reserve the right to add a couple of teeny bopping favorites of a Young Lady G for nostalgia’s sake.

That said; let us enter upon these jams

My Jams ‘85

Affection by Ta Mara and The Seen

“All I want is to get to know you better…”

Baby she had me at the first line.  This chick had the Minnesota sound backing her up!  Now if you don’t know what that is I ain’t got nothing for you.  You can only get a pass if you are over age 62.

Don’t wait for me by Morris Day

Well look who it is!  Morris has momentarily broken away from The Time.

Ladies, heed his warning, “Don’t wait for me, I’ll just make love to you girl, then set you free….What makes you think that I have the time….”

Madame, if you looking for love, you are barking up the wrong damn tree.

Shadow Love by the Mary Jane Girls

This is one sexy ballad!

Kids, put this jam on for your lover and thank Lady G for the assist!

“Shadow love is alright…”

Baby, Danny LeMelle is killing that saxophone!  You remember him from The Stone City Band!

And whose band is that?

Rick James Bitch O_o

Heartbeat by Dazz Band

YAAASSS!  Oh you knew it was coming!

Honey, your boys had the whole heartbeat affect going like Ms. Gardner did back in the day!

Get your romance on with this one.

Innocent by Alexander O’Neal

Alexander O’Neal, the one who got away from Prince!

No matter, Alex could put it down!

You will remember that he often collaborated with Cherrelle.

I’m leaving by Con Funk Shun

“Ooh baby, I’ve seen enough….I’m leaving you, I’m leaving you for me.”

Alright now!  I’m doing this for me!

Another sexy ass ballad right on up there with “Love’s Train.”

Gigolos get lonely too by Morris Day and The Time (see:  Tracy-Gwin Doctrine)

Here we go with some more whorish philosophy from a ‘gigolo.’

But not so fast, Lady G!  Homeboy sounds like he might wanna settle down on this jam!

Shit, as Eva would say, I wouldn’t trust him no farther than I could throw him!

What a Woman by The O’Jays

Now this is what we been waiting for!  I told y’all that The O’Jays would shuffle all the way through for decades to come!

This was a good one!

Just another lonely night by The O’Jays

And don’t forget about this one too!

Mechanical Emotion by Vanity

Chile, your girl is not under any delusion that Vanity could sing but this jam was hot!  Hell anything that Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis touch will set on fire!  Now I don’t know if they produced it but I bet they are on this somewhere.

While y’all tripping on that, them two brothers are on a luxury golf course about to tee off!

Bible and church!

Baby I’m Sorry by RJ’s Latest Arrival

I told G. I had something for him since he digs RJ’nem!  I think I wore the grooves off this jam.

“Baby, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you so, oh, no, no!”

Somebody once said “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”

Go ponder that….I’ll wait!

A broken heart can mend by Alexander O’Neal

This!

This?

Yeah That!

I just can’t!

Gentle (Calling your name) by Frederick

Sid and Oscar Productions

Side A

Track 3

“Please be gentle, please be gentle when you’re loving me…”

Funky little beat by Connie

“Funky little beat, that funky beat, rocking in the street to that funky beeeeeaaaat!”

Richmond hop is jumping right about now–meaning in our imaginary 1985–you know they had to stop having hops because children don’t know how to damn act!

Krush Groove by Krush Groove All-Stars

“Krush groovin’ body movin”

YAAASSSS!  That’s just how it was back then!

Don’t Say No Tonight by Eugene Wilde

Eugene brought love and romance back on the scene!

He gave us some more context to work with!

Go ‘head on Eugene!

Count Me Out by New Edition

“I love my baby but she’s just a tease and when I need her I say please, please, please can I hold you squeeze you ‘cause I need you….You’ll have to count me out this time!”

Yes baby, this is Generation X’s version of “Cowboys to Girls”

We don’t wanna play no more, we wanna kick it!

Now can you believe that these kids say that they were touring worldwide yet coming home to the projects?  Now that’s some bullshit!  I almost cried when I saw that interview. The music business can be as treacherous as hell!

I Want My Girl by Jesse Johnson

“I want my girl….I want back my girl.”

Poor Jesse!  His girl is gone.

But all you Jesses out there, keep playing  your music, record a song, sell it, make a million dollars and I promise you those girls will be back.

But will y’all still want them?

HA!!

Attack me with your love by Cameo

I blasted this jam while slow rolling all over Highland Park in that Camaro!

“I think you need to know the deal ‘bout just how I really feel…”

YAAAASSSS!

Who do you love by Bernard Wright

“Who do you love (Girl I’m in love with you)”

Who else loved this catchy jam?

Apparently Ladies Love Cool James did too!  He sampled it you know!

Paisley Park by Prince

Another one from the Purple ONE!

“Paisley Park is in your heart.”

Prince had all our asses running around in paisley prints!

I like to imagine that he is currently chilling in a place much like Paisley Park!

RIP sweet one.

19 by Paul Hardcastle

Now this song shows that you can create a groove that addresses a very serious topic.

“In World War II the average age of the combat soldier was 26.  In Vietnam he was 19.”

“None of them received a hero’s welcome.”

This song resonated with my generation because most of our fathers were Vietnam vets who came back home–but never really came back home. If you don’t know it or don’t remember it you should either listen to it or peep the lyrics.

If you know a vet, thank him for his or her service and if required offer assistance if you can.

That’s all.

In my house by The Mary Jane Girls

“In my house, my house!”

Okaaay!

These sisters owned 1984 and 1985!

I wish they had lasted longer!

I remember ‘performing’ this song with my hairbrush!

Of course Eva told me to go sit my ass down somewhere!

Pop life by Prince

“Tell me, what’s that underneath your hair?  Is there anybody living there?”

We learned a long time ago that there is always a meaning to Prince’s lyrics, but sometimes we couldn’t always figure it out.

That said, this one was pretty cut and dry!

I wonder if I take you home by Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam

Pretty much sums up the vibe of 1985

Feel so real by Steve Arrington

Here is one of those ambiguous gospel kinda Lordt jams!

Peep the lyric:

I’m right here on my knees

To thank you for the air that I breathe

I thank you for the life that you have saved

That’s why I’ve got to say…

Feel so real.

Yes and Amen!

Hangin on a string by Loose Ends

YAAASSS Honey Loose Ends came from the UK to slay!  Do you hear me?

Shut

It

Down!

And that, they did!

Alice Full Force

A bunch of buff fine ass dudes that could sing, play and produce!

What the hell else does a girl need?

Take me with you Prince

Just a fun jam!

The word is out by Jermaine Stewart

Honey this pretty ass dude right here also came to slay!

Baby his hair was snatched!  Did you see how his perm laid!  WHAAAA?

Please don’t hate on Jermaine!

Just do NOT do it!

Wild and Crazy love by the Mary Jane Girls

“I want to give my all to you, wild and crazy love!”

Another smash from them girls!

Friends/Five minutes of funk by Whodini (1984)

Deep bass warp 10!

Bump this and see what happens!

Sunshine by Warren Mills

Another UK gem!

Ok, so this one apparently is my jam by myself because I can’t find a soul that remembers it around these parts.  What say you T. Wayne and Chevvy?

I used to listen to it every morning while I was on my way to cheerleading practice.  It just seemed like the perfect song to start my day.

I think I’ll leave a video in comments.

 

Well, well, well the clock is about to strike 12.  Dick Clark is counting the seconds down!

I love you 1985 may you go in peace!

Y’all know what time it is right?  Time for the after party!  Bring your memories and your jams to the comment section.

For Christopher

With Love,

Gwin

❤ ❤ ❤