Chef Daddy: Pizza Night Fail

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Yeah…so it’s been a minute since I told a story about my wonderful father whom my mother often referred to as “the black Clark W. Griswold.”

And that, he is!

Anyway, one random Friday night in 1982, on the rare occassion that my Dad was off work, we planned to have a family pizza night!

YAAASSSS!

Well…Er…

Let me advise you to please hold your excitement because THIS pizza night, unfortunately, did NOT involve Pizza Hut…

Nor did it include Godfathers…

and Dominos was nowhere to be found!

Uh oh….

THIS pizza night was compliments of my Daddy!

Ugh!

And so…

In the pursuit of prime pizza ingredients, Dad hopped in his 260-Zx and drove down to the local Winn Dixie to purchase a box of Chef Boyardee Family Pizza…

Just like the one pictured above.

Ta Da!!!!!

Now then…

It is important to note that all of the ingredients to any normal pizza are NOT included in the box.

Did I have to actually say that?

Anyway, with that being the case, my Dad was left to his own devices which can be quite problematic to say the least!

So, off he goes over to the refrigerated section where he bypassed the pepperoni, and made a beeline for a huge box of country sausages!

Yes, my loves, you read that correctly!

The man bought Roger Wood Country sausages just like these:

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Ok..

After Dad’s quick trip to the store, he commenced to get down to the business of preparing pizza for the family!

Being the genius that he is, he properly followed all of the directions, as given by our dear Mr. Boyardee.

But then, in a tragic twist of events, he decided to veer from the script by cutting up several links of those Roger Wood Sausages to be gingerly placed on top of his edible masterpiece.

Next, of course, he baked it!

And when it was done, we overlooked the fact that Daddy’s pizza was

completely drench with about a liter of Roger Wood sausage oil…

notwithstanding all of the grease from the hoop cheese that he piled on that sucker!

We overlooked the odd smell of the canned pizza sauce which was now inextricably married to this horridly fake Italian cuisine tomfoolery!

Yes!

We overlooked ALL. Of. THAT!

And

we

ate

that

pizza!

Fast forward about two hours…

I spent the rest of the night puking up everything that I had ever eaten in the year of our LORD 1981 and, no doubt, ’82.

Baby, trust me when I tell you that I didn’t touch another slice of pizza until late 1986!

Rest assured, my Daddy gave us all a night to remember!

But what else do you expect from the black Clark W. Griswold?

By the way… don’t tell him, but I bought this God awful thing to give him for Father’s Day because it is sooooooooo Dad!

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Seriously?

Who needs a hot dog cooked any faster?

The answer?

My Dad!

Love you Daddy!

-LadyG

NOTE:  Please check out Daddy’s stories about Railroad life under the category “True Railroad Stories.”

 

 

 

 

Musical Affirmation: 10/27/2016

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Alternate title:  Lady G, The Golf Pro and Barry White

“I’ve Got So Much To Give” by Barry White (1973)

If you like your symphonic soul dripping with sexual chocolate this one’s for you!

The Late Great Barry White!

All of that unmistakable BARITONE with strings, horns, and every instrument in between.

That’s my kinda heaven 🙂

Ain’t that right Ms. Eve?

YAAASSSS!

There was no one like him before and none since!

Bow down!

And so…

Today’s message:

As a kid, I would often tag along with my Daddy when he went to play golf.

You see, I was born and raised in Augusta, GA.

Home of The Masters Tournament!

And, believe it or not, just about everybody in Augusta played/plays golf.

Baby, when I say everybody, I mean EVERYBODY!

There was no accounting for socioeconomic class when it came to the game of golf 😉

Basically…

If you didn’t have a lot of money, you played at a public course.

If you did have some money, you played at a private course.

One thing you didn’t do was play at The Augusta National.

Unless your name was Robert Trent Jones, Sr aka Bobby Jones

Or…

John D. Rockefeller, III

Or…

You were some other kind of magical sorta somebody like my Dad 😉

Yes, you read that right.

My Daddy played The Augusta National!

How’s that?

You see, years ago, The Augusta National employed their own golf caddies.

Interestingly enough, many of them were Black-maybe all of them were.

I don’t know.

Anyway, one of my Daddy’s friends was a caddy.

Well, back in those days, The Augusta National would host a caddy appreciation day.

On that day, the caddies could bring a guest to play a round of golf with them on the course.

And, as you might have figured, Daddy’s friend invited him.

Lesson:  

You never know who can make something magical and amazing happen in your life!

Expect the unexpected 🙂

Sorry for that major digression!

Back to my story.

One day, when I was about 11 years old, Daddy and I went to the golf course (NOT The Augusta National).

I really can’t be sure why, but, for whatever reason, I decided to stay at the clubhouse with the Golf Pro whom everybody called…

Wait for it…

“Pro.”

Anyway, Pro was a short, ruddy complected red-headed White dude who loved nothing more than a good laugh 🙂

And, since I loved to laugh too we would often joke around together.

I guess he thought I was a funny kid 🙂

At any rate, after a whole lot of guffawing and tomfoolery, Pro and I decided that since it was Saturday afternoon, we should go in the Pro shop, turn on the TV and watch, of all things, “Soul Train.”

Seriously?

Seriously!

I can vividly remember hearing Pro say, “I betcha didn’t know I liked Soul Train!”

YAAASSS!

Now, to be very honest, the visual and audio dissonance between this man’s appearance and the “Soul Train” theme song almost caused my little mind to implode!

No matter…

There we were, me, Pro, Don Cornelius and all of the “Soul Train” dancers.

On”the hippest trip in America!”

And the ride was fabulous!

Until…

Don Cornelius introduced the next guest!

“BARRY WHITE!”

Uh oh!

After seeing Barry White and listening to the opening notes of his song, Pro immediately rose from his chair and changed the station.

He then looked at me and said, “I like soul but that’s too much soul for me.”

And, with that, we both started laughing like hell!

In the end, we settled on a rerun of “Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom!”

Good ole Marlin Perkins.

And so…

What is the point of this horridly long story?

Here’s the point:

Although Pro was open-minded, he had his limits!  Poor guy, he never took the time to learn that Barry White was a musical genius who conducted his own Orchestra!

Love Unlimited Baby!

Pro, didn’t know what he didn’t know.

He missed an opportunity to take off the limits and further broaden his experience 🙂

And now…

Today’s Affirmation:  I am open to new and exciting experiences.

Yes!

Let’s go forth into new and exciting experiences!

We can:

Try a new cuisine!

Listen to some new music!

Read or learn something that is completely foreign to us.

Meet some new people; preferably some folks who have a background that is very different from ours.

Take a different route home.

Go some damn where else.

Now I’m going with Barry.

How ’bout you?

Get into it!

Love and light my friends 🙂

Lady G

😘💋