Not Thinking About It

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Lady J’s Godfather died the other day.

Unfortunately, I was responsible for breaking the news.

After telling her what had happened, I wiped my eyes and braced myself for an impending breakdown–I just knew that my dear daughter was going to fall over into a puddle of tears.

I put my arm around her…

Ready to catch her fall.

And I waited…

And I waited…

And I waited.

But there was nothing.

No response.

Just silence.

Now, in an effort to be proactive, I decided that I should help her to get in touch with her feelings.

In my mind, she needed to process the seriousness of what had occurred.

So, I assured her that it was okay if she felt like crying.

Again, nothing.

Not wanting to force the issue, I simply decided to drop the subject and keep a close eye on her.

But, to my surprise, Lady J never said another word about the matter.

In fact, she proceeded as if nothing had happened.

I kept thinking to myself that this was strange.

Lady J was very close to her Godfather.

This just didn’t seem to make any sense.

So, again,  I broached the subject and asked, “How do you feel?”

“What do you think?”

To which she responded, “I’ve decided NOT to think about it.”

So I let it be.

Well, a couple of days before the funeral, Lady J’s Godmother requested that we come to her home in order to take pictures with the family.

So we went.

Naturally, after arriving, we greeted children, grandchildren, brothers, sisters and friends—Each one engaged in play, pleasantries and recollections of warm memories.

People were talking and becoming more acquainted.

Several conversations were occuring at once.

And all seemed well.

But there, on the sofa, apart from the chatter, sat Lady J, silently holding her Godmother’s hand…

NOT thinking about it.

 

 

Rest in Peace KRB (aka Godfather)

We love you and we will miss you always!

 

Musical Affirmation: 10/20/2016

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“Another Park, Another Sunday” by the Doobie Brothers Released in 1974

THIS!

Yes, that!

Talk about a groove that’s smooth and sincere?

A beautiful composition without a bit of pretension.

Baby, it’s nothing short of DIVINE!

Real instruments and harmonies?

Whaaaaaa?

That GUITAR is speaking to my heart y’all!

Peep that bass towards the end of this jam!

Lawd, it’s going all around town!

YAAASSSS!

You know what’s up!

Anyway, on a serious note, from time to time I catch myself feeling a bit blah.

The kids call it “feeling some type of way.”

Basically, it’s one of those emotions that you just don’t quite have words to describe.

Well, whatsoinever (Southern Black colloquialism alert)  you decide to call it, you best believe that there’s an underlying reason for it.

Sometimes more than one 😉

I’ve found, when I take a closer look, that my mood tends to wane whenever I poke around too much in the past AND when I worry too much about the future.

What a nonsensical and impractical approach to time travel 🙂

It goes NOWHERE!

Anywhats, one thing’s for sure, if I allow myself to ‘feel some type of way’ for too long then I’m guaranteed to begin ruminating over all of my life experiences with:

Grief

Loss

Anxiety

Depression

Envy

Jealousy

Being overly sensitive

Regret

Hurt

Resentment

Anger

Sadness

Shame

Guilt

And on and on and on and on….

Don’t get me wrong, I know that as a human being I should display a full range of emotions.  However, ruminating over them is never a good idea.

What’s funny is that some of these emotional states didn’t even necessarily originate with me. In essence, at some point, I wasn’t paying attention so I inadvertently picked them up along the way.

Can you say, “Relationships?”

I think you feel me 🙂

And so…

In order to cut this madness off at the pass, I allow myself to indulge those lowly feelings—ever so briefly.

How long you ask?

Oh…for about five minutes–you know, about the length of an average song 😉

And so…

Today’s affirmation:  Right now, I choose to envelop myself in peace!

Now, you and I are going to take the duration of this song to sulk and coddle our inner wounds.

After it ends, I suggest that we promptly get into that place of peace–you know, over there with the Lord.

LOL!!!

Give it to ’em Doobies!

Video Credit:  stlblair

My friends, what do you do to find peace?

I’m open to suggestions!  Meet me in comments 🙂

Much love to you-as always,

Lady G 😘💋

 

If you’re an R&B/Soul music fan please check out the “My Jams” series under the Category “Music.”  In that series, I highlight my favorite jams from 1966-1996.  Beware, it contains strong language, adult situations and controversial observations.

The Magic of Music

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I have always believed that music is magical!  Seriously, take a moment to think about how it can overtake your body and immediately transform your thoughts and mood.  According to Merriam-Webster, magic is “an extraordinary power of influence seemingly from a supernatural source.”  To me, this same definition could, just as easily, describe music.

In any case, I learned about the magical influence of music at a very early age.  Actually, my mother said that I used to sit in my crib and rock back and forth– keeping perfect time with all of the songs that were played on the radio.  She used to say that I really started rocking when the disc jockey played Marvin Gaye’s “Heard it Through the Grapevine.” Now, let’s take a second to pause right here!  I realize that I am dating myself by using words like “radio” and “disc jockey” –I can’t help the fact that I am in the midst of my fourth set of teens.  You should be so lucky!  Back to the story! I can assure you that the baby me had not studied dance prior to rocking out in my crib.  So where did I learn this?  Hmm… You might say that I learned it by watching my mother.  My response to that notion — RUBBISH! I learned it from the music fairies that lived in a nearby forest.  No seriously, the answer probably lies somewhere in the middle.  No laughing-you can’t prove me wrong 🙂

Anyway, as I grew older, I learned that I could use the magic of music to process my feelings. To do this, I would ramble through my mother’s record collection (there we go again with those ancient references) to find the perfect song to match or change my mood.  Whenever I felt sad I would play “I Love Music” by the O’Jays.  Boy when those bongos started playing at the beginning of that song it was ON!!!  And when the O’Jays began harmonizing “Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh …Oh Oh…I love music” it was OVER!  I was flying! Depression GONE!  Don’t get me wrong, music didn’t solve all of my ills, but it did assist me with creating a more positive mindset for managing difficult situations.  With that said, music and I were now lifelong partners; traveling through space and time.   Together, we dealt with relationship issues, friendship issues, money issues, spiritual issues, issues of loss and anything else you might imagine.  In each case, I simply let music work its magic and all was well.

At any rate, when my children were born, I taught them to enjoy and appreciate all kinds of music.  I hoped that they would learn for themselves how it could magically dissipate or transmute negative thoughts, beliefs and feelings.  I secretly wished that they might also develop a lifelong partnership with music.

As for me, music and I are still together!  Rest assured, I will continue to take it with me everywhere I go.  So, if you see a forty-something year old lady dancing and singing The Police’s “Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic” in the frozen aisle at Publix, smile and join me her; she just might be casting a magical spell!