A Grave Encounter: The Four-legged Ghoul

Grave

It was like nothing we had ever seen before.

I still remember how large he was.

His tongue was flickering in and out of his mouth.

When my grandmother saw him, she raised her garden hoe in his direction.

Unfazed, he slowly turned away and crawled behind one of the graves disappearing into the woods.

My grandmother said later she believed he was a haint.

-Daddy recalls an event that occurred around 1955 in Eufaula, Alabama.

Daddy tells the whole story

When I was little, my grandmother would often grab us kids to go with her to the cemetery to help her and her sisters clean up our family’s graves.

Usually, this would take place early on Saturday mornings.

On those days, we’d all gather our tools and walk down the railroad track to the cemetery where most of my mother’s side of the family was buried.

We’d typically be out there working all morning.

One day, when I was about ten years old, it happened!

Me, my grandmother, and aunt were clearing away some brush when we spotted the scariest looking thing we had ever seen standing on top of an adult-sized grave.

It was grayish black, and spanned, from his nose to the tip of his tail, the entire length of the slab.

The monster, who weighed more than I did then, was facing us from about two plots away–toward a branch that ran through the middle of the cemetery.

It was like nothing we had ever seen before.

I still remember how large he was.

His tongue was flickering in and out of his mouth.

When my grandmother saw him, she raised her garden hoe in his direction.

Unfazed, he slowly turned away and crawled behind one of the graves disappearing into the woods.

My grandmother said later she believed he was a haint.

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LadyG remembers that story

I remember my Dad telling me this story over the years and I often wondered about the creature that he and his grandmother, Ma Allie, had seen that day.

Daddy said that it looked kinda like a Komodo dragon…

But not exactly.

He also said that this four-legged ghoul was probably feeding off corpses that were not “housed” in a vault.

A grave-robber of sorts.

Just so you know, vaults were not always used back in those days; especially in African-American cemeteries.

Anyway, it is important to note that Komodo dragons are not native to Alabama, or anywhere nearby, so we figured that whatever it was must have gotten loose from someone who had owned him as a pet.

At any rate, Daddy was never fully content with the fact that he could not positively identify that reptilian gargoyle of yore.

So for 64 years, the whole thing remained unsolved…

Until…

Last week, when I sent an article to my Dad about this reptile called a “Tegus” that had been spotted in South Georgia.

The article included a picture of a reptile that fit the description that Daddy gave based on his childhood memories.

After receiving and reading the article, Daddy immediately called me back and said, “That’s it! That’s EXACTLY what I saw!”

He seemed excited that the mystery had been solved.

Apparently, the Tegus has been around the South for much longer than the wildlife folks think!

But, secretly, I prefer Ma Allie’s belief that it was a haint!

LOL!

Lady G loves you!

 

 

 

Chef Daddy: Pizza Night Fail

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Yeah…so it’s been a minute since I told a story about my wonderful father whom my mother often referred to as “the black Clark W. Griswold.”

And that, he is!

Anyway, one random Friday night in 1982, on the rare occassion that my Dad was off work, we planned to have a family pizza night!

YAAASSSS!

Well…Er…

Let me advise you to please hold your excitement because THIS pizza night, unfortunately, did NOT involve Pizza Hut…

Nor did it include Godfathers…

and Dominos was nowhere to be found!

Uh oh….

THIS pizza night was compliments of my Daddy!

Ugh!

And so…

In the pursuit of prime pizza ingredients, Dad hopped in his 260-Zx and drove down to the local Winn Dixie to purchase a box of Chef Boyardee Family Pizza…

Just like the one pictured above.

Ta Da!!!!!

Now then…

It is important to note that all of the ingredients to any normal pizza are NOT included in the box.

Did I have to actually say that?

Anyway, with that being the case, my Dad was left to his own devices which can be quite problematic to say the least!

So, off he goes over to the refrigerated section where he bypassed the pepperoni, and made a beeline for a huge box of country sausages!

Yes, my loves, you read that correctly!

The man bought Roger Wood Country sausages just like these:

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Ok..

After Dad’s quick trip to the store, he commenced to get down to the business of preparing pizza for the family!

Being the genius that he is, he properly followed all of the directions, as given by our dear Mr. Boyardee.

But then, in a tragic twist of events, he decided to veer from the script by cutting up several links of those Roger Wood Sausages to be gingerly placed on top of his edible masterpiece.

Next, of course, he baked it!

And when it was done, we overlooked the fact that Daddy’s pizza was

completely drench with about a liter of Roger Wood sausage oil…

notwithstanding all of the grease from the hoop cheese that he piled on that sucker!

We overlooked the odd smell of the canned pizza sauce which was now inextricably married to this horridly fake Italian cuisine tomfoolery!

Yes!

We overlooked ALL. Of. THAT!

And

we

ate

that

pizza!

Fast forward about two hours…

I spent the rest of the night puking up everything that I had ever eaten in the year of our LORD 1981 and, no doubt, ’82.

Baby, trust me when I tell you that I didn’t touch another slice of pizza until late 1986!

Rest assured, my Daddy gave us all a night to remember!

But what else do you expect from the black Clark W. Griswold?

By the way… don’t tell him, but I bought this God awful thing to give him for Father’s Day because it is sooooooooo Dad!

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Seriously?

Who needs a hot dog cooked any faster?

The answer?

My Dad!

Love you Daddy!

-LadyG

NOTE:  Please check out Daddy’s stories about Railroad life under the category “True Railroad Stories.”