My Jams ’83

My day one peeps will remember this series from a few years back where I share my life story via my favorite songs.
Recently, I did an audio series based on these posts called “Rambling Musical Commentary.” Lately, I’ve noticed, based on the analytics, that these posts have a pretty large viewing; therefore, I will be picking that series back up starting with 1980 on Sunday, April 18th.
So, stay tuned and check out other “My Jams” and “Rambling Musical Commentary” posts by going to the right panel and clicking on those titles in categories.
Meanwhile, enjoy a reblog of My Jams 1983!

Be forewarned!

There be Adult language afoot! LOL!

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Cheerleading shot of Gwin

Hey, it’s good to see you!  Boy have I got a lot to catch you up on!  I’m so sorry that I haven’t been keeping you posted on all the things that’s been going on.  Can you believe that we’re almost at the end of 1983 and I haven’t really told you anything new?

Well, I guess I better do like Lewis Carroll said, “Start at the beginning, keep going and when you come to the end, stop.”

So let’s start at the beginning.

Do you remember my Uncle Willie? You know the one who lives in Chicago?  Well he died back in March.  Nobody saw it coming because he was kinda young.  They say he was sick with pneumonia, then he just had a heart attack–out of nowhere– and died.

We didn’t see him much but I do remember the time me and my cousins were jumping on the…

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Sexually Inappropriate and Harassing Behavior During Daily Conversation

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3/16/2021 6:35pm EST: Updated with a doozy of an example that I forgot about.

Note: Contains sexually explicit language

Excuse the typos, I needed to get this conversation out on the floor real quick!

If you read my recent post on Racism and Prejudice in Daily Conversation, you’ll remember my observation that Zager and Evans’ song, In the year 2525, didn’t offer much in the way of great expectations–other than to wonder “if man is still alive…”

Well, to be fair, they weren’t just concerned with “man.”  They actually continued the thought by pondering whether “…woman can survive.”

So here we are again with me offering my “two cents” about  sexually inappropriate and harassing behavior in daily conversation.

I might even throw in a little story.

And so…

If you are ever confused about what to say and what not to say to avoid even the appearance of being sexually inappropriate, or engaging in sexually harassing behavior, avoid the following statements and/or questions:

  1. “You’re being overly sensitive.”
  2. “What’s wrong with me complimenting your legs?”
  3. “I see you have a tattoo on your neck, where else do you have tattoos?”
  4. “Maybe if you flirted a little, it might help us get <insert thing here>”
  5. “Do blondes have more fun?”
  6. “That’s not sexually inappropriate/sexual harassment!” (An easy out for people who are uninterested in learning about sexually inappropriate conversation/sexual harassment)

This list is not exhaustive.

Again, while some of these points are blatant, others are very subtle yet highly offensive— and today, I am going to include some REALLY blatant shit that people have said or done to me.

For your consideration:

Once upon a time, LadyG was seated at a table reading a book when a co-worker sat down at the same table.

This guy, a real tool, was the son of a well known Dentist in South Georgia.

Anyway, while LadyG sat quietly reading, this jackass started singing his own rendition of Prince’s “Darling Nikki—where he substituted ‘LadyG’ in the verse that talks about “masturbating in the lobby with a magazine.”

It should be noted that this same guy later grabbed LadyG’s behind and stated, “I always wanted to know what a black girl’s butt felt like—Wow! It’s jigglier than I thought.”

And do you know what LadyG did in each case?

NOTHING.

-THE END

It is important to note that I was selected to receive this position by my professors. 

In fact, I was the only female there, at the time, working with three law school students—one of which was the asshole that I just told you about.  

It definitely didn’t help that I was only a sophomore working toward my BS degree.

To be honest, I felt that I was the most powerless person in this situation.  

Flat out, I was the only woman working with a group of men during the height of Anita Hill versus Clarence Thomas.

Chile, I saw what happened to Prof. Hill so I never reported the guy.

But let me be clear, the other law students and my supervisors were very kind and helpful to me.  That said, I often stuck under the other two law students in order to feel safe from the third guy’s advances.  

Now I know that there is someone in the ethers saying, “Well, he was just an asshole.”

He most definitely was an asshole.

But, this was more than being an asshole, this was him sexually harassing me.  

Now I know that what he did was pretty cut and dry, but there are many situations where, like with racism, you can’t “define it” but you know it when you see it.  

My cousin Ron describes this phenomenon perfectly in his post, I cannot define it.

Sadly, this is not the only time that I experienced this, or something like it.

Shall I elaborate?

How about the time I was at the mall grabbing a maternity dress for my baby shower, when this jackass walked right up behind me and said, “Hey, why don’t you let me finish that off.”

Or the time a friend of my family said, “You’re good and grown now, I just want to come visit you.”  Let’s just say, he was NOT my peer and he was not my friend.

Or the time a male who was close to the family told me I was a “fine mother-f’er.”

Or the time I was in the library and a dude, who was in one of my classes, called me over to the table and began counting a large wad of money while looking up at me and back down at the money in a suggestive way.

Or when a security guard at work tried to kiss me in an elevator—totally unprovoked!  He offered to do something else more explicit that I’ll keep to myself.

Whew…once again chile—the shit is tiring and I really could go on.  

I’ve had so many sexually explicit and not so explicit things said and done to me in my lifetime that I cannot count them.

Sadly, the first instances were in childhood and the perpetrators were mostly grown men—none of them were family members.

I never said anything about it or my Dad would still be in jail for murder!

I think Alice Walker’s words, spoken through Sophia in The Color Purple, express it best, “A girl child ain’t safe in a house full of mens.”

So, I think I’ll stop here and encourage anyone who is ready to have a polite and meaningful conversation about anything that I mentioned in this post to drop down in comments so we can chat.

Racism and Prejudice in Daily Conversation

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Racism no longer exists!

-Some Earthling from 7510

Astute 1960s music aficionados will recognize the aforementioned, 7510, as the year that Zager and Evans said, “If God’s a-coming, he ought to make it by then…”

That’s right, over 50 years ago our dear singers predicted that 7510 would be the year of Divine judgment!

Personally, I believe that we are being judged daily–by our own conscience.

That’s assuming that we have one.

Anyway, I find it kinda eerie that while Zager and Evans titled the song, In the year 2525, they don’t say much else about that year–other than to wonder “if man is still alive…”

In fact, it appears as if they simply opted not to complete their thesis about what 2525 might bring.

I shudder at the thought!

Anyway, this post has very little to do with that song other than to illustrate how much farther, as a society, we have to go in order to become more advanced in our thinking; I pray we get there before 7510 because 2525 is beginning to look like a freaking wash!

Ok, so after watching and listening to a whole lot of people talking about racism these days, I decided to put in my proverbial two cents by offering a couple of suggestions on how to avoid racist/prejudice talk in your daily conversations.

I might even throw in a little story.

And so…

In essence, if you are interested in having a genuine conversation on race–or anything else–with black folks, please refrain from saying any of the following:

  1. “Racism does not exist.”
  2. “You’re being overly sensitive.”
  3. “How do you know <insert complex, intellectual, technical, little-known, sophisticated topic here>
  4. “How did he/she/they get a better grade than I did?”
  5. “How did she/he/they get that job, house, car, thing?”
  6. “Family doesn’t mean much to Black people” (Said by some foolish ass congressman, very recently.)
  7. “That’s not racism!” (An easy out for people who are uninterested in learning about racist remarks and behaviors.)

This list is not exhaustive.

While some of the above points are blatant, others are very subtle yet highly offensive. In fact, I’m NOT even going to include the REALLY blatant shit that people say.

That said, I am willing to offer a more slick example of how prejudiced beliefs and attitudes slither into a daily conversation. (This is an example of my 3rd point from above)

For your consideration:

Once upon a very recent time, LadyG was having a conversation with a couple of co-workers about travel.

During the conversation, Lady G stated, “I’d like to go visit Findhorn someday.”

To which one of the co-workers, a white female who fancies herself to be very well versed on just about every damn thang, inquired, “What is Findhorn?”

To which LadyG replied, “It’s a beautiful community in Scotland where they have been known to grow gigantic vegetables by working closely with spiritual beings that inhabit the land.”

Before LadyG could complete her sentence, her co-worker had whipped out her iPhone, looked up Findhorn, and was instantly amazed at how accurate LadyG was in her description of the joint.”

“Hmm,” dear co-worker responded, “And how do you know about that?”

To which LadyG shot back, “I’m just nosey as hell.”

-THE END

Granted, the average person in Georgia has no clue what Findhorn is–never mind where it is.

Hell, some of you are also probably wondering how I knew about it.

Let’s just say that I am an avid reader who loves to learn about new people, places and things.

At any rate, it’s not so much that she asked that question, it’s more the way she asked the question.

It was clear to me that she didn’t think it was possible for me to have any knowledge about a subject that she did not already know about.

Who was I to know so much about something that she had never heard of?

Now, I can hear someone in the ethers saying, “How is that racist, she’s just a know-it-all.”

True dat!

She definitely was a know-it-all!

But here’s the thing…do you think she would have asked a white woman or man the same question– with the same kind of undertone?

Would she have been completely amazed that another white person could know about Findhorn?

I’d wager that she would not have asked another white person that question–at least not in the same way.

She asked me with an air of suspicion–disbelief.

Now, if, in fact, she had asked another white person, it would have been out of genuine curiosity–a “tell me more” kind of situation.

Trust me, as a black woman, I know the difference.

I’ve experienced this, or something like it, more times than I can properly count.

Seriously, I could give you a thousand other examples; including the one where the white male student asked my Political Science professor how I got a better grade than he did on an essay exam. It should be noted that the professor, who was also white, was the one who told me what the guy said.

Oh! What about the time a white co-worker told me that I was not “black… black.” By that, she meant that I was not like “regular black people”–whatever that is.

Or, the time my white Biology professor told me that I was one of only two black students to ever get an A in his class. Why did he feel the need to tell me this?

Oh yeah, what about the white English professor who stopped me after class one day to ask where I was from because she could tell from my writing style that I couldn’t be “from around here.”

Whew chile…it’s tiring y’all!

So, I think I’ll stop here and encourage anyone who is ready to have a polite and meaningful conversation about anything that I mentioned in this post to drop down in comments so we can chat.

A Family Conversation: THREE Cousins Discuss Family Traditions, Beliefs and Superstitions

“A Family Conversation” is a storytelling audio series that features weekly discussions between blogging cousins LadyG and Ron Brown on current events along with favorite posts from each other’s blog.

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Happy New Year!

Welcome to the first “A Family Conversation” audio post of 2021.

This post is extra special because one of our other cousins is joining our conversation.

It took some doing to get her to join us so we were very happy that she agreed to round out the chat!

Now… join us as we use my post, Your New Year’s “To Do” List, to talk about:

  • How Ron jinxed Creek 
  • Some very superstitious people
  • Messin’ with folks’ luck
  • Every Southern Mom
  • How “doing” is just as important as “not doing”
  • Dragging trees
  • General sorry-ness
  • How “old” is NOT really “old”
  • Technicalities and clarifications on dirty clothes
  • Our major loss, “The Bon Vivant.”
  • Roy Clark
  • Pepto Bismol and where we got the gift of storytelling

Rest in Peace Uncle Leroy!

Halloween Edition of A Family Conversation: Eliza’s Grave (Part 1) Including Valuable Advice from The UK

A Family Conversation, an ongoing conversation between blogging cousins, Ron Brown and Lady G, is celebrating the time of year when the veil between the physical and spiritual worlds becomes paper thin.

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WARNING: I posted this after drinking a glass of Kendall Jackson Chardonnay, so God only knows how it’s going to turn out!

Forgive me!

Anyway…

In this week’s post, we discuss Ron’s upcoming book, Eliza’s Grave.

During our conversation we touch on:

  • Random trash talk about Church’s Chicken, beer, and fall being our favorite time of year
  • Why LadyG loves Halloween and Ron’s unforgettable night of trick or treating
  • Eliza’s discovery and an introduction
  • The challenges of writing a book and wonderful advice received from our friend Roger in the U.K.
  • 1961, The Year of the Crow

We also include our recommendations for Bloggers who can really write!

Roger is an awesome writer from Wales. We are huge fans and we highly recommend his blog.

Although we didn’t get around to talking about them in this post, we also HIGHLY recommend :

Dr. Katherin Garland, a professor who hails from Chicago. The professor owns an editing business y’all!

Best believe, editors are an invaluable part of the process! Well worth the money.

In addition, we happily recommend Ellie P., a fabulous Canadian author and grammar maven!

There are many more… and we will include those as we go along!

Anyway….

Enjoy the conversation and please feel free to comment below

Tune in Friday for Part II of Eliza’s Grave

An Excerpt From My New Untitled Project: “The Client”

The following is an excerpt from a new project that I am working on. I would love to hear your thoughts. Bear in mind that this is simply an excerpt ♥️

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And trust me, if I do this for you, one of y’all will end up DEAD.

Honey, you need to rethink that.

Do you know what you’re asking?

Well let me be clear.

You never want to bind a man to you.

Especially if he done told you he don’t want you.

Now I know you came to me because you heard about my work.

But let me tell you chile, there are some things I’ll never do!

And that includes binding spells.

Why?

Because they’re fatal.

You ain’t really thought about the consequences that come when you bind somebody to you against their will…have you?

Naw, you ain’t thought about it at all.

You still a baby.

You just want what you want.

But how you gon’ feel when you find yourself all bound up with a man that’s full of hate and anger?

Furious, because he can’t stand you or the situation!

He don’t wanna be there– but you fixed it so he can’t leave…and, to make matters worse, he don’t know why!

Naw honey, I can’t do that kinda work.

I really can’t …

Because if he kill you in anger, I’ll never get over it.

And trust me, if I do this for you, one of y’all will end up DEAD.

Now…

Go somewhere and rest your mind.

Think about what you really want.

There’s a-plenty things you can ask for that I’ll be more than willing to help you with.

But right now, you’re not in your right mind.

-Written by Lady G.

Melodic Memories

I was just inspired to repost this as a result of a conversation with my cousin Ron. Maybe it’s just a yearning for my childhood days–when life was carefree. I hope you enjoy!

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ballerina-1463107_1920

I remember telling my cousin Ron about several memories that I had which seemed to lack any clear context–yet they continued to float around in my mind.

He chuckled and said, “I have those too, I call them ‘cryptic memories’.”

And so…

This post contains several ‘cryptic memories’ that may or may not have happened on the same day–though I presented them as if they did.

And, since I’m a music lover, each memory (event) is closely tied to a song from my early childhood years.

I hope you enjoy this quick exercise in dreamy quasi-stream of consciousness.

 🙂 🙂 🙂

Bus driver, please look for me

‘Cause I couldn’t bear to see what I might see

I’m really still in prison and my love, she holds the key

A simple yellow ribbon’s what I need to set me free

I wrote and told her please…

Tie a yellow ribbon ’round the old oak tree…”

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A Family Conversation: My Brother’s Keeper

NOT Ron’s brother and NOT Ron! Just some random little cute boys 🙂

“A Family Conversation” is a storytelling audio series that features weekly discussions between blogging cousins LadyG and Ron Brown on current events along with favorite posts from each other’s blog. Warning: There is adult language used…mostly by LadyG 😊

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Black Brotha, I love ya,
I will never – try to hurt ya
I want ya, to know that,
I’m here for you, forever true

Songwriters: Raphael Saadiq / Robert Ozuna / Harold Lilly Jr / Glenn Standridge / Angela L Stone
Brotha lyrics © Universal Music – Careers, Emi Blackwood Music Inc., Ugmoe Music, Uncle Bobby Music, Soul Insurance Songs

Today, the cousins discuss Ron’s post, Am I My Brother’s Keeper?


Pt 1
My brother’s keeper
Ben and Fred: Childhood foes Adulthood friends
Little cousin crushes/Big cousin protectors
Proverbs and double teaming ‘em
Us and them
Leaving on that slingshot tree to Georgia pt 1

Pt 2
Leaving on that slingshot tree to Georgia pt 2
Mr Wynn, The Roller and The Ripper
My brother is the smart one
Sawdust, planks and sweeping ‘round your own front door
You got the ISH twisted on my gay friends

Find a fool, leave a fool?
Are you boxed in?

Pt 3
Anti-Everything is Anti-Christian
One John and Two Corinthians
Loving God but not your brother
You just might be a murderer
Family Factions
Closer than Twins 

Scriptural References from the audio

  • Proverbs 17:17
  • Matthew 7:35
  • 1 John 4:20
  • 1 John 3:15